Today I leave for four days and nights of quiet mindful meditation and solitude. I'll be spending my retreat at a nearby Buddhist center. Without any communication, distraction, or luxury, it seems to be exactly what I've been begging for.
"Wisdom of no escape" means that I cannot escape anywhere and anyone but myself. I will suffer before I learn and once I learn, I have the promised potential for wisdom. The ideology is almost to make your heart as vulnerable as possible, fill it with love and anger and fear, let all of that completely break your heart, and then let it all go. Everything.
Your subconscious becomes your conscience, so I've been told. The significance of certain occurrences in your life take prominence over others in the most unexpected way. I'm certainly uneasy to experience this for myself.
I hope I can let the nothingness wash over me and nourish what I've been so deprived of. I hope I can regain some strength. I'm sure no matter if my experience is positive or negative, the change in me will be good.
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