Saturday, May 03, 2008

Printemps

Waking up on days when the sunrise is flawlessly spilling over the horizon onto the world, warming the world and filling my heart up again, all I can hope is that I still feel alive by nighttime.
The sunrises quiet the worries in my head and smooth over the pain.
I can remember feeling like this last spring, too. I know I've changed, I'm more human than I've ever been but I can't help noticing that I'm still in the same place, dancing circles around the sun.
I can't help but hope that at this time next year, I won't have slipped up again, and I won't be so hesitant, and I won't stutter, and I won't flinch, and I won't want the scars anymore.
I think I'm going to stop counting each day as it goes by. Maybe I'll just try to breathe instead.

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