Virtual.

Yesterday I attended a funeral. Or at least I tried.
I was told, and did as I was told, to sit in the church basement in front of a television screen. Mourn from there, while the pallbearer's footsteps could be heard above my head. Sit in my black and my pearls in a folding chair and regard the screen. Squint at it, shift to see past the rows ahead of me. Don't focus on the antenna or the wires or the way speakers work.
If I was disillusioned with technology before, I don't know what I am now.

Rush.

Yesterday the rain got past my clothes and skin. Yesterday the rain seeped into my bloodstream, grey and wintery through my veins. If there was enough rain, no one would ever need tears.

Meadows.

Drove out to the Audubon Sanctuary this afternoon. Each year I spend less and less time there, though as I get older, more and more of my childhood memories are hide-and-go-seek in the woods and tall gold grasses, finding wolf spiders in a patch of wild blueberries.
Nothing looked like the memories, on the edge of the snowy field. The Crocker Maple is dead now, fell a few years ago after standing more than three hundred years. I can remember picnicking beneath it, real young. It feels funny that I should have known anything at the end of such a long life, but I suppose once I did.
As I rounded the corner of the barn, I came face to face with a flock of sheep, who were completely silent, still and seemingly expectant of me. I stared back for a long time. I watched curiosity drown out distrust.
It was the first time that I've ever really gone anywhere by myself. It didn't feel unusual in the slightest.

God, It's Great.

I like the sun in my eyes.
As for today, the word cradle comes to mind. Everything is cast in aureate sadness and it's all because I love.
I love.

Proud to Be in Your Line of Vision.

It's a beautiful thing to recognize part of another person inside yourself. Especially beautiful, when they are beautiful and make you feel beautiful.
I feel beautiful.
It seems like such a rare thing these days, for someone to be able to feel beautiful, to recognize, to admit.
Today was a day unlike any other. I'm so appreciative to everybody I saw, everybody who took the time to smile or say hello. I had lost hope for so many of you. Rarely have I had a more pleasant surprise. I'm in awe of you all.

Are You Feeling Better Now?

We drove into the city and my eyes focused on the foggy window condensation, blurring the lights on the other side of the glass in soft orbs: green, red, gold and the blue moon.

The fireworks were blotted out by their own smoke, which the city light hit like a wall.

There is so much to love about music.

I got kissed, waiting at the corner bus stop, your arms and coat warm around me and my feet numb.

I saw strangers' reflections in the windows; they shot down the streets with the cars in the next lane.

There was so much patience for mistakes in that little chain coffee shop.

The countdown was loud and my eyes were shut.

A beautiful friend had never looked happier, running the crosswalk and holding a hand. Radiant.

Words to "Grace Cathedral Hill"all in my head, spilled out and your answer, my favorite, was yes.