Climax

The promise was finally broken tonight.

Nothing's Getting Done

Everything; my schoolwork, my friends, my family, my health. I'm being so overwhelmed by it all that I'm past the point of getting through one thing at a time. Today I just stopped. I've never been responsible for so many things at the same time before and tonight I just couldn't go on.
Lying face up, too tired to close my eyes and beyond comprehending thought, I stayed on the floor for almost an hour until my brother came home and I remembered what was going on.
I need a better way to deal. It's getting scary.

Spinning Between Sleeps

Maybe it's the dreams that get me every time.
I just can't explain why this happens to me and why I feel like, every time I shouldn't fight it.

Done is What Had to be Done

I'm mostly disappointed. Disappointed that I wasn't proven wrong. I wished on every star and I still can't accept why that didn't work. I need to know that I'm wrong.
Once again this thought floats beneath the surface of my conscious mind; done is what had to be done.
I hope it has some truth to it. I'm wondering that if this wasn't the right thing to do would I still be with him? Maybe I'm just feeling guilt now. At this point, I'm glad I don't believe in regrets.
If I wasn't happy I think maybe it's okay but I can't help the memories from flooding back with their familiar tugs and tears.
I want them to stop.

Right & Wrong

I've always had a good sense of what's right and what's wrong until now.
Everybody is telling me different things and I find myself agreeing with all of them.
When I think about what I'm about to do and all the people it affects it feels selfish and terrible but if I'm not happy I guess this is what I have to do.
In these situations I'm really at my worst. I haven't forgotten the last time.
I'm a little scared to go on.

Rest in Peace

You were a great man. You'll be missed. We love you.